In my Africa + Lryics (song heard on Arthur about the 54 countries in Af...

It is Black History Month, and this singular show has made me so proud I was moved to tears.  I watched Hey Arthur even when I was at an age when it definitely did not cater to my demographic, but when I saw this episode for the first time yesterday, I thought to myself, finally! I watched it with my one year old baby, and even though she is not at an age to understand the significance, I was so happy to see a beautiful Africa.  Every place has a ghetto, and Feed the Children commercials are a big reason the stereotype of Africa is poverty.  Africa needs Jesus and food, let the infomercial tell it, and at the end of the day, the snippet has played so often for so many years it is the accepted subconscious truth in the minds of Americans.  This clip is the highlight of the show, but the entire episode was beautiful, and I learned a thing or two!  I definitely thought of the continent as a place on the bucket list to visit for educational purposes, but the pictures and descriptions create an image of a pleasurable experience for tourists.  It is my hope that one day, in my lifetime, the beauty of Africa will be ranked with (or above) other lush tourist stops such as Hawaii.  Enjoy this clip and share it with your children and friends. This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.

Baby Hair

Hey, it's been a minute and I haven't kept up but it's frankly because I'm busy and my layout sorta sucks currently, but that will change soon.  My daughter finally has enough hair to style, and it's really manageable too (thank GAWD) but I don't really know what I'm doing. I hoped for a boy for this reason.  I seriously was looking forward to cutting hair.  What's worse is my mother went to beauty school before she was even thinking about having a daughter, and she can literally do any hairstyle.  When I was a kid I had crazy cornrows designs with colorful beads a la Crooklyn.  So I get to hear speeches when I visit.  

I hope I figure some cute stuff out that can be done with little outside help, but I doubt it. I have even tried watching YouTube videos over and over.  My hands don't really translate what my eyes see.

Whelp, this is Realest Mother Dearest signing off. 

A Rant

The crisp Autumn air and leaves are a sign of holiday times.  They are also painful reminders of my going under the knife to have a baby.  
How so?
Well the chilly air causes my back to ache at times.  Oh sure, I stretch and work out and drink water and lift with my knees blah blah blah  but sometimes for no apparent reason I still have a twinge or crippling pain, whatever my back decides to do.
Frankly, I'm pissed.
My doctor did not even attempt to induce me.  He decided it would take too long since I was a first time mother, which contradicted EVERYTHING he told me leading up to my due date.  He was all "it is up to God and the baby" and then he refused to induce on a Friday so he wouldn't tie up his precious weekend.  Then he refused induction all together, claiming I was endangering my child's life.
So he cut me a new vagina above my old useless one and I have a janky back and a uterus that feels occupied, but the phantom kicks are just the surrounding organs fighting to break away from the fibrous scar tissue 17 months later.

Im done.
This is Realest Mother Dearest saying thanks for nothing Dr. Stack. Glad I contributed to the highest csection rate in the U.S. which is 40% in the great state of Louisiana.
Yes, you read it right. Almost half of all live births here are through surgery, and it is often unnecessary.

Adventures in Daycare

As the first week of daycare comes to an end, I would like to discuss my experiences.
I adjusted poorly.  And by poorly, I mean I had a mild to moderate anxiety attack. 
But as time progressed, I came to the realization that there are advantages to daycare for me and my baby girl.
So without further ado, here's *drumroll*
THE TOP FIVE ADVANTAGES OF DAYCARE FOR ADULTS
(in descending order)
#5.  Random naps on off days!!! Remember when you didn't have kids and you used to sleep just because you were sleepy? Well if you just so happen to be off work on a Tuesday (between 6 AM and 6 PM) you can do the damn thing!

#4.  Chore completion.  I have lots of chores that are kinda sorta on their way to being done, but I have the space to actually finish them.  I have folded the dried clothes, and put the folded clothes in drawers and*gasp*  I have been able to completely clean all things dirty in the house.

#3.  Workouts! Working out without fear of waking or hurting a small person is awesome! Also, completing a workout without the worry that said little one will wake up and need your immediate attention and destroy your chance to shower first.

#2.  Inappropriate media!! No more overkill on Bubble Guppies.  No Curious George. No Super Why.  Gangsta rap and trash television are yours for the taking.  Basketball Wives? Don't mind if I do!!!
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON DAYCARE IS AN ADVANTAGE FOR PARENTS:

#1.  Sex. REAL sex.  Not that old groggy sleepy hurry-up-I-go-to-work-at-5 stuff.  You can take your time, enjoy, make a sandwich afterward, smoke, I don't know what yall do, I'm just saying you can do all of that and not be all extra careful and timid.  I mean if the horror, I mean, beauty of childbirth hasn't turned you off to that sort of thing.

Well, this is RealestMotherDearest signing off.

Mimi Faust and A Mother's Love

I love trash tv, so you know I had to watch the Love and Hip Hop Reunion (part 1, ugh!) and see if it was going to be the hype.  There was cussing and screaming and a few shed tears as usual, but the one story that stuck out to me was Mimi Faust's.  She mentioned briefly that her mother chose religion over parenthood when Mimi was 13 years old.

I can't imagine having a mother for 13 years of life and then, at such a pivotal turning point, being abandoned and forced to become a woman on my own.  I did not have the best relationship with my mother as a child, and my mother is a very devout Christian.  She's not a fanatic, but she's borderline.  I can somewhat sympathize, but Scientology is a whole other animal from what I can perceive from articles and interviews.  

When I read that Mimi never saw her mother again after that day AND her mother died of cancer in 2003, my heart broke for her.  There's no chance of reconciliation in this life for them.  All Mimi has is her own relationship with her daughter and the hope that she will be better than what she had, which is also my goal.  

The main thing I thought about was how I felt the day my daughter was born.  I can't see myself turning my back on her.

I wouldn't serve a God whose mandate would lead me to do so.  I don't know Mimi personally, but I have no doubt her experience greatly impacted her personality.  There were people in her life who stepped in and helped her along the way, since no man is an island, but we are hard-wired to want that maternal bond with our own mothers, no matter how kind or understanding a friend or family member may be.  I hope she will find a measure of peace with the situation.

That's all for now.  This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.

Preventative Maintenance

One major change in my thinking occurred when my daughter was born, and it has influenced all of my decision making. The thought of how my absence would influence her pushes me to face my fears and take even better care of myself. 

If you haven't figured it out, I am scared of going to the doctor for annual exams.  The smell of the waiting room, the white bright lights, the posters that show a life-sized example of a uterus with stage I'VE cancer.. .  I would almost rather die at home from whatever peril may be around the corner.

Almost.

I posted this link 

Signs that you have cancer: early detection is key, this could save your life. http://bit.ly/172nEfF

on my Facebook page today and decided to write about taking care of the annual visits despite our fears. Most, if not all of us, know someone who is directly affected by cancer, and age is no longer a factor.  I hate doctors.  I see them as con artists.  They give me the heebie jeebies! But if not for myself, I get my check-ups for my daughter and others who want me around.  

This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.

Darn It All To Heck!

I had a bit of a potty mouth before I had my daughter and I still do at times. She babbles and I have not slipped up in front of her very often (terrible, I know) but I have stubbed a toe and said sh-t once or twice.  This new life has new rules and I have some choice words I use in place of the words I would go to when little ears weren't around. So I submit to you all for your consideration a substitute of less colorful words, such as:

Balderdash

Poppycock

Folly (wtf= what the folly?)

Tomfoolery 

Crock

Baloney

Devil (what the devil are you doing? You know, devil, instead of the devil's, um, house)

There are so many ways to express oneself, ways that won't result in child care options being reduced.  I'm no saint but at least I can vent my frustrations and get a laugh instead of a disapproving glare with these and other words.

Until next time, this is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.