Cheeky Quotes

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Preventative Maintenance

One major change in my thinking occurred when my daughter was born, and it has influenced all of my decision making. The thought of how my absence would influence her pushes me to face my fears and take even better care of myself. 
If you haven't figured it out, I am scared of going to the doctor for annual exams.  The smell of the waiting room, the white bright lights, the posters that show a life-sized example of a uterus with stage I'VE cancer.. .  I would almost rather die at home from whatever peril may be around the corner.
Almost.
I posted this link 
Signs that you have cancer: early detection is key, this could save your life. http://bit.ly/172nEfF
on my Facebook page today and decided to write about taking care of the annual visits despite our fears. Most, if not all of us, know someone who is directly affected by cancer, and age is no longer a factor.  I hate doctors.  I see them as con artists.  They give me the heebie jeebies! But if not for myself, I get my check-ups for my daughter and others who want me around.  
This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Darn It All To Heck!

I had a bit of a potty mouth before I had my daughter and I still do at times. She babbles and I have not slipped up in front of her very often (terrible, I know) but I have stubbed a toe and said sh-t once or twice.  This new life has new rules and I have some choice words I use in place of the words I would go to when little ears weren't around. So I submit to you all for your consideration a substitute of less colorful words, such as:
Balderdash
Poppycock
Folly (wtf= what the folly?)
Tomfoolery 
Crock
Baloney
Devil (what the devil are you doing? You know, devil, instead of the devil's, um, house)

There are so many ways to express oneself, ways that won't result in child care options being reduced.  I'm no saint but at least I can vent my frustrations and get a laugh instead of a disapproving glare with these and other words.

Until next time, this is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Don't Let Booty Do Happen to You

My daughter is now 1 year old and fully weaned, so my appetite and mood are now within my control for at least 20 days a month. Operation Stripper Body has resumed as a necessary measure against my personal Taliban attack AKA Booty Do. 
What is Booty Do, you ask?
Booty Do (n.): an urban expression which describes the condition that occurs when  a woman's abdomen is so engorged with fat that it extends in imbalanced ratio to her derrière, I.E. her stomach pokes out more than her booty do(es).
I was able to live like I was not in danger of being a victim to this disorder, but after weaning my baby, my Dolly Parton knockers are gone, and my hour glass looks more like an egg. 
I'm not doing as bad as some, but I need to be restored to my former glory! 
On that note, this is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.