Saturday, February 22, 2014

Amazon Prime Streaming Selection for Kids

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Little BillGullah Gullah Island, and other defunct educational programs may no longer be in rotation on television, but Amazon Prime offers several seasons of these classic, diverse programs for children to those who are members.  For $79 a year, many shows that were favorites of mine as well as my niece are now available to my daughter.  The emphasis on education in current programming is wonderful, but the cultural emphasis leaves much to be desired.  In addition to free two-day shipping on all orders, there is a library of family program that you are not privy to from Hulu Plus or Netflix.
Look into some of the programs you may have loved as a child offered in their extensive library.
This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.  Please comment below on topics you are interested in.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

That Ain't Love, Love!

Valentine's Day has passed, and mine was lovely!  I hope you all had a good one, but for those who may be having hard times, I felt compelled to post a video from one of my favorite vloggers, Jerry Lavigne Jr.  While he is more notably recognized as a YouTube comedian, this past summer he opened up about having to take anger management due to an argument he had with his girlfriend, which led to police being called.
His story is an important one, because while he did not physically harm anyone, there are many forms of abuse, and he has come to understand that intimidation through yelling or property damage is just as unacceptable.
Learn the signs of abuse, and if the person you are with is not willing to get help, GET OUT!
Seek counsel from services established in your area.
This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.  Take care of yourselves.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Beyonce and the Peek-a-Boo Baby

You ever notice how Beyonce only kinda sorta shows Blue's face?  I mean she put her in a video and whatnot, but she doesn't really hyper expose her to the social media networks.

I think that is commendable. 

Well I do now, that is.

When my daughter was first born, I was so ecstatic about her arrival, I was ready to flood timelines the world over, and I kinda did.  I even gave a classmate from college permission to use her as a model for her site (she is a photographer).  It wasn't until my parents were uncomfortable that I even considered slowing down in the photographs.  I don't agree with all of the things my parents used to do, but I was really struck by a statement my father made when I had her ears pierced.  

He said, "You don't know if she wanted earrings.  You should have let her make her own choice when she got older."

I honestly didn't see it that way.  I was just making a cute baby even cuter in my eyes, but I decided he had made a broader point.  Children are subjected to the highs and lows of whatever life their parents have, and have no control.  What I took away from his statement was to be mindful of choices I am making on her behalf, even as it pertains to image.  I get that there are pedophiles and kidnappers, but what about the voiceless child who has no control and no idea of the consequences?

I still post a picture ever so often, but I'm definitely not as enthusiastic as I once was.

*tips hat to Beyonce*

This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.  Stay tuned. 

Healthy Body Image

Remember Lilo and Stitch?
More specifically, the big sister, Nani Pelekai ?


I remember I was excited to see her in this film, and I was so ecstatic to see her beautiful round nose and full hips, thick thighs and strong calfs.  She was princess worthy to me, though I realized she wouldn't be a princess because she wasn't a lead character.

I am always in search of healthy images to surround my daughter with so the world won't be able to shake her view of herself as an undeniably beautiful girl, and the image above is one that will be in her room soon.

What are your thoughts on more ethnic cartoon images? 

This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.   

Breast Feeding Side Effects

While I was pregnant with my daughter, I had a mentor of sorts at my job who advised me on ways to make childbirth go smoothly.  Her name was Carlisa, and she was a manager and mother of three, all of whom she delivered naturally.  Obviously I asked her questions every chance I got!
When I informed her of my choice to breastfeed, she told me it was not even an option for her.  She said that area was so sensitive she would be aroused, which was weird, so she chose to pump.  I didn't think I would have that problem. 

Then one day I was breast feeding in bed and while I dozed off, I had an orgasm. 

I was jolted out of my sleep by it. 

come to find out, other women have experienced this and even worse.  Orgasmic birth, for instance, seems a lot better than typical birth, but I would really be emotionally perplexed for weeks if something like that happened.  

This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.  Please comment below if you have had a similar experience.

Squeeze the Grape(s)


If you have not heard of ben wa balls and you have given birth, you should really consider investigating them.  The little silver grape-sized balls pictured above are not sex toys but a tool to help women strengthen or rebuild their kegel muscles.   I know what you're thinking: this HAS to be something invented by men, right?

While having a strong pelvic floor is definitely going to make sex more pleasurable for the guy in your life, the more important issues addressed by these exercises are incontinence as well as the possibility of uterine prolapse in the future.  I am from the country, so for those who have heard an older lady say "my p*ssy fell out", you know a women with extremely weak pelvic muscles, and unless you just want your uterus to one day come out and say "Hi!", ben wa balls are a tool worth investing in.

So why stuff metal in your lady parts? Why not just hold and release the muscles at every stoplight?

While these efforts are wonderful, the beauty of the ben wa balls is you can gauge your progress.  You want to use these tools when you are cleaning your house or doing floor exercises indoors.  At first the balls will slide out of you, but as your strength increases, you will hold the weights inside.

We are an advanced society, and since we aren't doing outdoor chores or balancing jugs on our heads, we have to manufacture ways to work out.  The pelvic floor needs attention.  If you plan on having another child (or two) you will be stronger the next time around.

Also, do not think for a second that a c-section makes you irrelevant to this conversation.  All mothers released hormones during pregnancy that led to the softening of joints and widening of hips in preparation of the bringing forth of life, and the joints and muscles were affected whether you pushed out Mini Me or not.

This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.  Stay tuned.  I am going to be writing more consistently, so those prizes I promised forever ago will happen people!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Women, Keep Your Uterus!

DISCLAIMER: I am not saying this video is an example of what I am doing personally, nor am I endorsing the products or services mentioned.  I just agree with the main points of healing yourself and keeping your lady parts.

As a first-time mother, I am having conversations about feminine health with my elders that I have not had before, and the amount of women I know who have elected to have their uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, etc. removed is astounding.  What's worse is these 40+ year old women lack the understanding of their bodies that would allow them to see the dire consequences of ridding themselves of offal.  I  only know 1 person who had a hysterectomy because of cancer.  These women are so glad to be period free, they don't realize their abdominal support is in jeopardy of prolapse.
These lucrative surgeries are now discussed with greedy physicians as a first choice instead of a last resort.  60 years ago the idea of having the uterus removed was uncommon and unacceptable to most women, and now the new generations of middle aged women are singing the surgeon's praises!
My plea is a simple one: before you go under the knife, research and count the costs.  Don't just do a Google search and read some posts.  Speak with people who are willing to give you a true account of what changes occurred.  Menstrual cycles are a pain, but the creator is not flawed.  If the organ is removed and is not immediately threatening your life, the surgery will not be a total win.
This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.  Please comment below if you have had or considered having a hysterectomy.  I want to know your thoughts, people!

A Father Examines Manhood

I am a huge fan of Ted Talks, and this particular lecture made me tear up.  Tony Porter gives a very candid account of what it means to be a man as well as how detrimental the "man box" is to men as well as women.  The lack of freedom in manhood is a big contributor to the abuse and degradation of women based on his theory.  The most poignant statement he made was in reference to how he wants to make a better world for his daughter by shaping mental attitudes in males.  Please listen to and share this video.

This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Fox's Bill O'Reilly: Pregnant Black Women are a Menace To Society!

As an educated unwed mother rearing a daughter with an active father, I would like to say Bill O'Reilly needs to quit with the jokes.  His shock jock foolery at the expense of Black people (women this time) is frankly boring.  And only a weak man picks on women anyway.

Since I have my preface out of the way, I would also like to mention how weary I am of the criminalization of HUMAN behaviors executed by BLACK people.  Whether the story is about teenage pregnancy or the death of an innocent Black boy in his father's neighborhood, it seems that when a white member of American society commits a crime, there is either a 1) a plausible reason if it is a white female, 2) drugs or molestation if it is a white male or 3) typical shenanigans of a youth if you are referring to teens or those in their early 20s.  This is my opinion, by the way, so feel free to submit input/research/rebuttals below.  In the end, it seems the darker your skin, the worse your intent.  There is no real concern for the person's background, and regaining respectability as well as socioeconomic stability is twice as difficult and half as respected.

These types of topics irk me mostly because of the lack of perspective held by his type of audience, which is a group of narrow minded and influential persons who did not need more motivation against minorities.  That bear has been poke enough!  When you consider how population control was disguised as sexual health assistance through the formation of Planned Parenthood, it is important to make sure Black procreation is as vile as possible in the eye of the media.  Meanwhile back in the suburbs, shows like 16 and Pregnant perpetuate the idea that the low and middle class, white unwed mothers not only need help, but are more so deserving of the help.  Do not be fooled: the suggestion that Planned Parenthood was to prevent infant mortality as well as promote prudence and health for the mothers is a ruse.  These issues were not in the Black community, so issues had to be trumped up to create cause for such and organization, plus services were free or dirt cheap, and racial tensions were high.  No one was too keen on the idea of allowing someone who wouldn't pee in the same toilet access to their reproductive organs.  At least not at first.

Well this is Realest Mother Dearest signing off. Stay tuned for more topics, and feel free to suggest topics below.

In my Africa + Lryics (song heard on Arthur about the 54 countries in Af...

It is Black History Month, and this singular show has made me so proud I was moved to tears.  I watched Hey Arthur even when I was at an age when it definitely did not cater to my demographic, but when I saw this episode for the first time yesterday, I thought to myself, finally! I watched it with my one year old baby, and even though she is not at an age to understand the significance, I was so happy to see a beautiful Africa.  Every place has a ghetto, and Feed the Children commercials are a big reason the stereotype of Africa is poverty.  Africa needs Jesus and food, let the infomercial tell it, and at the end of the day, the snippet has played so often for so many years it is the accepted subconscious truth in the minds of Americans.  This clip is the highlight of the show, but the entire episode was beautiful, and I learned a thing or two!  I definitely thought of the continent as a place on the bucket list to visit for educational purposes, but the pictures and descriptions create an image of a pleasurable experience for tourists.  It is my hope that one day, in my lifetime, the beauty of Africa will be ranked with (or above) other lush tourist stops such as Hawaii.  Enjoy this clip and share it with your children and friends. This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.