Friday, October 25, 2013
Well the chilly air causes my back to ache at times. Oh sure, I stretch and work out and drink water and lift with my knees blah blah blah but sometimes for no apparent reason I still have a twinge or crippling pain, whatever my back decides to do.
Frankly, I'm pissed.
My doctor did not even attempt to induce me. He decided it would take too long since I was a first time mother, which contradicted EVERYTHING he told me leading up to my due date. He was all "it is up to God and the baby" and then he refused to induce on a Friday so he wouldn't tie up his precious weekend. Then he refused induction all together, claiming I was endangering my child's life.
So he cut me a new vagina above my old useless one and I have a janky back and a uterus that feels occupied, but the phantom kicks are just the surrounding organs fighting to break away from the fibrous scar tissue 17 months later.
This is Realest Mother Dearest saying thanks for nothing Dr. Stack. Glad I contributed to the highest csection rate in the U.S. which is 40% in the great state of Louisiana.
Yes, you read it right. Almost half of all live births here are through surgery, and it is often unnecessary.
Friday, September 13, 2013
I adjusted poorly. And by poorly, I mean I had a mild to moderate anxiety attack.
But as time progressed, I came to the realization that there are advantages to daycare for me and my baby girl.
So without further ado, here's *drumroll*
THE TOP FIVE ADVANTAGES OF DAYCARE FOR ADULTS
(in descending order)
#5. Random naps on off days!!! Remember when you didn't have kids and you used to sleep just because you were sleepy? Well if you just so happen to be off work on a Tuesday (between 6 AM and 6 PM) you can do the damn thing!
#4. Chore completion. I have lots of chores that are kinda sorta on their way to being done, but I have the space to actually finish them. I have folded the dried clothes, and put the folded clothes in drawers and*gasp* I have been able to completely clean all things dirty in the house.
#3. Workouts! Working out without fear of waking or hurting a small person is awesome! Also, completing a workout without the worry that said little one will wake up and need your immediate attention and destroy your chance to shower first.
#2. Inappropriate media!! No more overkill on Bubble Guppies. No Curious George. No Super Why. Gangsta rap and trash television are yours for the taking. Basketball Wives? Don't mind if I do!!!
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON DAYCARE IS AN ADVANTAGE FOR PARENTS:
#1. Sex. REAL sex. Not that old groggy sleepy hurry-up-I-go-to-work-at-5 stuff. You can take your time, enjoy, make a sandwich afterward, smoke, I don't know what yall do, I'm just saying you can do all of that and not be all extra careful and timid. I mean if the horror, I mean, beauty of childbirth hasn't turned you off to that sort of thing.
Well, this is RealestMotherDearest signing off.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
I knew I had to take drastic action.
My actions thus far have been semi-aggressive but I kicked them up a notch.
I have kinda been force-feeding my baby with food and formula. Not in a hostile way, but in a very stern, structured way. I offer her the formula after the meal. If I can get at least two ounces in her (not on her) I satiate her with a little mom milk. It seems to be working; it's less of a fight during meal time.
My nipple is healing thanks to Medela nipple cream.
I'm still open to suggestions. She has tooth #9 (help me!).
Until next time, this is Realest Mother Dearest signing off. Please comment below with suggestions!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
She got gas and fell asleep.
Welp, this is a discouraged yet determined mother dearest signing off.
Please, if you have any advice, any at all, please leave it below. I am desperate.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Breastfeeding is a beautiful process. In addition to all of the health benefits for baby, it is a bonding experience. I will remember it for the rest of my life.
Now that I have gotten all the pleasantries out of the way, I can say where I am in the process.
MY DAUGHTER HAS 7 TEETH AND IS ABOUT TO BE 1 YEAR OLD!
I need the madness to stop. Like, ASAP.
I looked up several articles on effectively weaning an infant, and the common thread they seem to share is the child is to chose when he/she is ready.
You mean to tell me I have to will my schedule over to the titty tyrant?! No bet.
I am employing many different methods and you guys will be the first to know how it goes. She seems to realize I am offering a sippy cup more often than the breast and has been on a 3-day food strike.
I am open to any advice so feel free to comment. Unless you say I need to give in for another year. I can't. I miss wine.
Also, I am still reviewing scar/stretch mark products for giveaways. I will let you guys know when I find something worth sharing. I am still compiling information for my blog on traveling with a baby, so be on the lookout for that as well.
Until next time, this is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Let's face it: even though I love my little one, the love in my heart does not distract me from the strain on my budget. As the great Eugene Krabs would say, I have a strange feeling in the pit of me wallet.
(I have been watching Spongebob a lot these days)
That being said, I have been finding ways to expand the rainy day fund.
One way is a good old-fashioned piggy bank. Putting whatever lose change I have in the porcelain pigbelly isn't the most unique idea, but it is definitely a simple way to start, and every little bit helps.
Of course there are stocks, bonds, CDs, etc., but for those of us who aren't able to invest a sizeable lump sum just yet, there are incentive programs such as UPromise to look into. In most cases, all you have to do is enroll your debit card and shop as usual. Some restrictions apply, but for the most part you are building your nest egg through ordinary purchases like fuel and groceries. I will go in depth in another blog.
Until next time, this is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.
OAN: I planned on giving away silicone scar sheets, but after 8 weeks of faithfully following the instructions to the letter, I am not impressed with the results. I will be testing another product for a future contest.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
All in all, I'm sure it will be fine. I will keep you guys posted on how things go.
This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off. Please feel free to comment and suggest topics for future posts.