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Friday, September 13, 2013

Adventures in Daycare

As the first week of daycare comes to an end, I would like to discuss my experiences.
I adjusted poorly.  And by poorly, I mean I had a mild to moderate anxiety attack. 
But as time progressed, I came to the realization that there are advantages to daycare for me and my baby girl.
So without further ado, here's *drumroll*
THE TOP FIVE ADVANTAGES OF DAYCARE FOR ADULTS
(in descending order)
#5.  Random naps on off days!!! Remember when you didn't have kids and you used to sleep just because you were sleepy? Well if you just so happen to be off work on a Tuesday (between 6 AM and 6 PM) you can do the damn thing!

#4.  Chore completion.  I have lots of chores that are kinda sorta on their way to being done, but I have the space to actually finish them.  I have folded the dried clothes, and put the folded clothes in drawers and*gasp*  I have been able to completely clean all things dirty in the house.

#3.  Workouts! Working out without fear of waking or hurting a small person is awesome! Also, completing a workout without the worry that said little one will wake up and need your immediate attention and destroy your chance to shower first.

#2.  Inappropriate media!! No more overkill on Bubble Guppies.  No Curious George. No Super Why.  Gangsta rap and trash television are yours for the taking.  Basketball Wives? Don't mind if I do!!!
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON DAYCARE IS AN ADVANTAGE FOR PARENTS:

#1.  Sex. REAL sex.  Not that old groggy sleepy hurry-up-I-go-to-work-at-5 stuff.  You can take your time, enjoy, make a sandwich afterward, smoke, I don't know what yall do, I'm just saying you can do all of that and not be all extra careful and timid.  I mean if the horror, I mean, beauty of childbirth hasn't turned you off to that sort of thing.

Well, this is RealestMotherDearest signing off.

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