Cheeky Quotes

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Squeeze the Grape(s)


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If you have not heard of ben wa balls and you have given birth, you should really consider investigating them.  The little silver grape-sized balls pictured above are not sex toys but a tool to help women strengthen or rebuild their kegel muscles.   I know what you're thinking: this HAS to be something invented by men, right?

While having a strong pelvic floor is definitely going to make sex more pleasurable for the guy in your life, the more important issues addressed by these exercises are incontinence as well as the possibility of uterine prolapse in the future.  I am from the country, so for those who have heard an older lady say "my p*ssy fell out", you know a women with extremely weak pelvic muscles, and unless you just want your uterus to one day come out and say "Hi!", ben wa balls are a tool worth investing in.

So why stuff metal in your lady parts? Why not just hold and release the muscles at every stoplight?

While these efforts are wonderful, the beauty of the ben wa balls is you can gauge your progress.  You want to use these tools when you are cleaning your house or doing floor exercises indoors.  At first the balls will slide out of you, but as your strength increases, you will hold the weights inside.

We are an advanced society, and since we aren't doing outdoor chores or balancing jugs on our heads, we have to manufacture ways to work out.  The pelvic floor needs attention.  If you plan on having another child (or two) you will be stronger the next time around.

Also, do not think for a second that a c-section makes you irrelevant to this conversation.  All mothers released hormones during pregnancy that led to the softening of joints and widening of hips in preparation of the bringing forth of life, and the joints and muscles were affected whether you pushed out Mini Me or not.

This is Realest Mother Dearest signing off.  Stay tuned.  I am going to be writing more consistently, so those prizes I promised forever ago will happen people!

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